#it’s probably cause of my adhd

[squishykitty825]

Dick eating candy corn: This is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten

Jason: So why are you eating them then?

Dick: Because the texture makes my brain happy

Tim munching on candy corn right next to Dick: No, no… he’s got a point

[djangari]

Tattoo AU (Part 1/?)

I don't know the word punctuality, so here you got the first part [kinda unedited sorry] - 1650 words

Bez controls his station once again, ensuring everything he will need is prepared, sterile and in the correct position. Then he spins his stool towards the clock, looking at the larger pointer and realises that not even five minutes have passed since the last time he has done this.  

“Have you not taken your medication today, or what is going on with you?“ Vale sticks his head through the door, staring very annoyed at him. “No, of course I have taken it!“, Bez protests. He surely hasn’t forgotten to take his medication- Has he? He notices his foot tapping along to the tact of Last Christmas. - Did Luca leave on his bad Christmas playlist once again? They talked about that!- No, No, he can remember eating and then taking the pills with tap water, because he was too late to go in the kitchen and get a glass. It was important to be on time today. His regulars know he tends to be late for a few minutes and they don’t care so he hasn’t had to change yet but today is special. Today he has his appointment.  

Bez nearly sighs, as he remembers the beautiful brown curls, the soft looking plumb but thin lips, the brown eyes he could lose himself in for hours... 

Vale snaps in front of his eyes to get his attention back. Embarrassed, Bez stares up to him, eyes narrowing as he sees the smug grin on the other man's face. This doesn‘t means anything good- “Why don‘t you hang up the Christmas decorations? I want it to look nice here in time for the first of December and you don‘t have any clients for the next half hour. I checked with Luca.“ Hesitant, Bez glimpses over to the big stencil. He still needs to check if the print was successful and if every other of the three spare prints is good as well. “Your client surely will love it, when he comes in and everything already looks great.“ Sold.  

Energetic he stands up and goes on search for the storage boxes. “Migno has already brought the ladder into the waiting room.“, Vale calls after him. Bez is already too focussed on his new task to answer in any other way than simply giving him a thumbs up, while speeding towards the entry.  

----- 

Half an hour later, the plastic tree stands in the corner of the waiting room, overloaded with fairy lights and neoncolored Christmas baubles, the paper stars hang in the glass front of the store and Bez balances on the ladder, fighting with the quite ugly pine garland. It just doesn’t want to stay on the nails, where it belongs during winter times. With another frustrated snort, Bez stretches a little more, hopefully just enough to finally reach the last nail...  

“Just move the ladder”, Luca comments from behind the counter, where he stood the last five minutes and watched him struggle after saying goodbye to his last client of the day.  

“Or you could maybe help me instead of laughing, just a suggestion.” Bez bites back and goes onto his toes. Yeah, nearly there... 

The entry door swings wide open, and the bell Bez just hung up five minutes ago rings. “Oh, there you are”, Luca greets the new arrival. “I think you have to wait a minute, you see Bez is a bit busy right now.”  

Bez attention shifts when he hears his name, and he risks a glimpse down.  

There he stands... Those perfect curls, lurking out from under the red hat, nose and cheeks coloured in bright pink due to the cold outside, his slightly bitten lips hidden beneath the big matching red scarf.  

Bez loses balance and crashes down the short ladder, tearing down the garland with him. He lands onto his back, limps in the air, like a helpless beetle, and for a short moment the world blurs before his eyes. Black points dance in his field of view and cover most of it.  

He blinks once, twice, and then the world shifts back to normal, luckily without seeing double.  

Pecco- No, Francesco, he corrects himself- is only centimetres away from his face, examining him, eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Bez wonders how a human can look so pretty. Maybe he is no human. Maybe he is an angel, send from heaven to save him.  

Only after a few seconds of losing himself in those big lovely brown eyes, does he realize that he is in fact talking to him. “Can you follow my finger with your eyes?”, the angel asks him and moves said finger to the left and the right. Marco follows his instructions very willingly. “Okay, I think he might have a concussion.”, the angel says to a person standing on their right side. The giant sighs and grabs his head. “Of course he would manage to do that. Should we get him to the hospital?” His angel shrugs. “Would be best. Didn’t wanted to see my boss again before next week, but I could clock in for overtime and examine him. Quickest way to get in and out and additionally get the good drugs.” As his angel mentions it, Bez feels his head aching and pounding. “Why does the world turn?”, he mutters and moves closer to his angel until his head rests in his very comfortable lap.  

“Yeah, that definitely seems like a concussion. Do you help me to get him up?” Wait, what.  

Marco notices how his feet suddenly dangle in the air, without touching any ground. Confused he turns his head to look at Luca, who holds him close to his chest and moves towards the door. “Wait, no, we can’t go without the angel.” Laughing is audible, both from Luca and from behind him. Blushing, he realises Francesco stood behind him and supports his head, well now he also pets his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll come with you. Someone needs to drive.” Luca still won’t stop laughing. So, Bez raises his hand and slaps him on the shoulder. “This is all your fault. If you would have helped me, I wouldn’t have fallen in the first place!”, he hisses, his head now a lot clearer. “If you hit me again, I’ll drop you.”, Luca warns him yet giggling between words. Marco pulls back to pout.  

They stop before the door, facing a problem none of them had considered. How they should open the inward-swinging door to walk through. And then lock it up. Migno said goodbye over an hour ago and Vale also excused himself a few minutes after talking with Bez to ‘pick up a friend’. Everyone who knows Vale knows that that is basically a code for ‘Marc just sent me a message, I need to pay him attention’. But nothing of this solves their problem in any way, because the point is, they aren’t here. Luca exchanges a look with Pecco, holding a silent discussion with the result that it is best for them when he hands over Bez and get the keys.  

Before he realises what is going on, Bez gets passed over like an oversized toddler. However, any protest dies as he leans his head onto Francescos shoulder and stares into his wonderful eyes. “Angel”, he whispers and holds a bit closer onto him. Francesco chuckles and grins at him as if he just found out a secret.  

All of a sudden, Bez remembers something. “We have to reschedule. Your tattoo. I prepared everything, but I can’t tattoo you like this.” “This was kind of obvious. And it's not a problem. I can certainly free up some time in my calendar soon.”, Francesco calms him down with his beautiful smirk.  

“Ok, I got the keys and I messaged Vale, can you two now postpone flirting until later and we get going? I have another client in about two hours, would be great if I would be back.” Luca closes in from behind and effectively manages to disrupt the conversation.

Francesco looks away, like he has been caught being naughty, just the slightest touch of red on his cheeks, while Bez wishes he could murder Luca with his glare. But sadly, the younger man doesn’t care, he walks right past them, holds the door open so Pecco can carefully carry Bez outside and then he turns the open sign, locks up the store, before he sits down in the driver seat of his car and waits until Francesco has arranged a surprisingly now very flustered Bez in the back seat and got in himself. He adjusts the rearview mirror, grins happily, starts the car and the radio begins to play.

Bez groans. How could he forget this. “Let's make a trip to the hospital.”, Luca says and parks out, all while the Jonas brothers da-dom-dom-dom away.  

I can’t deny what I’m feeling inside 

Nothin’ fake about the way you bring me to life 

You make every day feel like it’s Christmas 

Every day that I’m with you 

[wonderlandsakura]

Ok for some reason my brain is hyper focusing on Johnlock again like I won't regret it 2-3 business days from now when I come out of it with 5 new open AO3 tabs (out of my already 156 open AO3 tabs not counting other unfinished/unread fic/fic I've not caught up on, full disclosure) for fic that I probably won't finish reading and/or while being unable to find the. Very Specific. fic I want to read and just having like an open half-filtered tab... But Anyway.

Here's a Very Rare Johnlock Post from me lol

Imagine after all the seasons are over and Johnlock are old and have finally talked about their feelings and properly, actually, gotten officially together

(and subsequently gotten married in like 2 months cause Sherlock filled out the paperwork while John was not actually at home and then actually having a discussion about it when John finds out it happened cause Sherlock casually mentions it and actually agrees after Sherlock mentions (read: steamrolls over him, anxiously) them practically already being married by common law and just officialising it for the tax benefits... they only have a proper wedding, maybe on their/an anniversary when Mrs Hudson finds out probably 6 months later or sth and complains,, but I've gone on a tangent again)

Anyway Rosie is a teenager, with after-school activities and a phone.

I'm just imagining Sherlock dragging John out on a murder case (read: date) and deciding to feed him midway through (like always, tbh,, sth sth that post about feeding the depressed man that tends to forget to eat but I digress)

So Rosie gets a text and a voicemail from the two of them (cause Sherlock prefers to text and tell me John is not the sort to leave voicemails, like he would have put it on the voicemail machine if they had one he's so old man sometimes)

And it goes something like:

[Text from Papa]

Ragù Bolognese, Angelo's, 7pm. Hugs. -SH

[Voicemail from Dad]

"Hi honey, it's Dad.

Sorry we won't be able to make it to dinner with you, your father's got a case and you know how he gets...

Anyway, Mrs Hudson is going out tonight remember, so your Papa is booking the usual table at Angelo's for you... You still like the Spaghetti Bolognese right?

Don't worry about us, we'll eat before we get home. And the reservation is at 7, so don't be late. This will probably take a while so don't wait up either and go straight to bed young lady, you hear me?

Anyway I've got to go, loveyoubye."

Anyway I think it would be very cute, like they love and care about her, even if they're old men who laugh at crime scenes and whose ideal date is trying to catch a murderer together, and they show it by taking a moment to make sure she's fed with her favorite food even when they're busy solving crime, so yeah.

[pseudophan]

gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow

[yippie-madness]

only thing im good at is academics and i fucking hate school. i cant do nothing else

[smallblueandloud]

oh, how i love you, adhd medication. took a short release a few hours ago because i couldn't stop watching BTVS and i haven't done anything in three days so i figured it couldn't hurt and now i'm sitting here thinking about the big picture and art i want to make and what i can get done right now to make my life easier this week.

[puppppppppy]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[moonstruckhaze]

boyfriend shirt...

update: if you like this art, please go check out this fic that @chessala wrote for it ╥⁠﹏⁠╥

update cont: this is the first time someone's ever written something for art that I've made, and I'm still so happy and touched beyond words that she wrote this. she was even kind enough to share the initial draft with me and asked for feedback and even worked in little suggestions i had for expanding on different parts of the writing, which was so fun and collaborative and I haven't gotten to do something like that in ages. I'm so overwhelmed (in a good way) and it feels like getting to beam the full mental vision of the scenario i had in my brain while working on this piece into the mind of anyone who reads it; ;

i know these close up crops are a bit silly but well. i did my best lol... the full version is up on my alt twitter linked in my pinned post ♡

please also observe the little 🐰 logo.... it is silly & crucial....

[roaringroa]

they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end

[itsadancingdinosaur]

Big goal for the rest of the year is to come out to my parents, brother and one of my close friends as aroace. I'm at a stage where I think I'm comfortable enough in my orientation that I want to tell them. It's a big enough part of me as a person that I'd like them to know it

[worlds-oldest-teenager]

For that poor baby Apollo being abused thing I'm drawing, idk what has possessed me but I'm suddenly getting all this insane imagery. Like Apollo plus his kids as little dolls on display and they're all held in place gently with holders while Apollo has been stabbed with pincushions and stapled in place.

And another one where a his hands are covering his kids from falling ichor and it pools into Zeus's hands that pour it straight onto him.

Does this make sense? Do you guys see the vision?

[skeletalheartattack]

oh god youre the skeleton guy i had no idea

a higher power deemed that i must go forth and become cunty as hell. and i said aye aye captain and he put me in the sea and watch that sponge thing walk out of his house in his underwear before the hand of god put his pants on. from there it was all bubbles and boat vehicles and fish and sponge cubes and the sponge bouncing on his logo and playing his nose like a flute. wait no thats not right

[telesodalite]

This is a bit random, but I've been thinking about Misfire a lot lately, and it struck me, that with his adhd, the whole implied/hc'd substance use is only sometimes considered as a form of self-medicating? And, idk, I find the concept interesting.

Like, yeah sure, within the canon implications it's just stereotypical stuff, so it can be interpreted as wholly recreational, and whatever one might call accidentally catching a high from blood you've taken from a corpse.

But like, his adhd is emphasized as an important aspect of his character, so surely it's impacted his millions of years worth of life with its symptoms? Both good and bad?

The Decepticons in idw1 are weird, in many ways lol, but in the sense that they're the faction defined by their oddballs and rejects. They're the unwanted, the belittled, the different, the oppressed, the strange, the mad. But at the same time, any deviance from their impossible and ever-changing standards is punishable and looked down upon.

It's a classic, almost frustratingly stereotypical case of a system built against oppression becoming the oppressors. But that's not the point here.

The point is that they opened their arms and offered the idea of freedom to those who felt different from the pre-war standards, who felt belittled by it, or betrayed by it, and promptly went and turned around on these people to make them feel belittled and betrayed and made different from their own new standards.

Abuse, in many forms, runs rampant within Decepticon ranks. From the very top, to the very bottom. Any deviation or perceived weakness is an open invitation for such actions. Throw in the DJD, and there's no escape from it. No way to get out, only fit in and keep your head low, or become the very thing you originally wanted to fight against and be free from.

Substance abuse is mentioned in canon enough to assume that certain amounts of it were almost expected across both Decepticon and Autobot ranks and contingents. But considering the condition of Decepticon standards and communities, it can be assumed to be a bit more rampant in their case.

So, Misfire. We don't have much context for his background and what all he's seen and done.

It's implied he did some spywork, or at least made some cross faction connections during the war with Brainstorm, which might've been a big enough deal that it caught the attention of Skids, because he's aware of Misfire of all people, knows he changed his name right at the end of the war, and considers Misfire somewhat as a nemesis, which, might I remind thee that Skids was part of a secret special operations unit, a secret special operations unit under fucking Prowl!? So uh, possible big interesting stuff that never got explained there.

(The possible spy bit keeps me up at night I swear to god, bcs wtf were all those tiny implications supposed to mean?!? I need to know all the details of that possible spy drama so bad, omg)

Then, we know he "accidentally" killed "a dozen" other cons towards the end of the war, and that he was going to be jailed for it.

So Misfire's life obviously went down the drain before the murdering a dozen fellow soldiers bit, but considering every awful and challenging factor of being a sub-par soldier in the Decepticon army/air force, what kept him from doing something like that earlier on?

More important, what got someone like him through the war? What kept him going? What kept him alive? Well uh... the same thing that kept a lot of Decepticons going I guess. Substance abuse.

Ok so where does the self-medication angle of this whole thing come in Teles?? My answer to that would be, uh, inherently ig.

Because think about it, you're just some kinda weird guy, caught in the middle of one long ass war. You're never good enough, can't achieve the one thing you've been gunning(lol) for, and are just sorta flying by the seat of your metaphorical pants through life. You're a solider, and a victim of systematic abuse because of that, and at some point, you're possibly a perpetrator of that abuse*. On top of all that, you've also got raging adhd during all this stress and trauma, and man, quieting those racing thoughts and numbing that constant buzzing itch in your body probably feels really good when you're escaping your extremely stressful situation for just a bit.

It feels better to be more detached, to be "calmer", less caught up in a hundred thoughts at once, more focused, more in control. Eventually this becomes the subconscious focus of his using to ease the stress. It "fixes" something. Makes things "right". So casual escapist substance use tumbles into substance abuse and addiction.

How this factors into his post-war life, idk, you decide ig.

I figure the scavs being broke and cut-off from others could play a part in Misfire having to wean himself off of whatever substances were most common among his ranks, but he's also probably creative enough to make stuff from whatever they pick up. Anything considered to be "hard stuff" would likely be frowned upon or policed by Krok tho, because of the whole traumatic experience with Roadbuster and his extreme brutality due to perceived Syk abuse.

But then again, the scavs are all still very much cons with vices, and 100% constant sobriety is apprently a challenge or punishment for cons and bots alike post war.

-

*(Expanding on that bit via another ramble I had lying around that i thought i'd include)

When considering Misfire's adhd, most things emphasize the hyperactivity and impulsiveness in general without also emphasizing the negative sides.

That moment where he almost punches Grimlock comes to mind a lot.

It could be viewed as just a side-effect of perpetuated Decepticon abuse, a knee-jerk reaction that may have been turned on him during the war for his mistakes, that he in turn expresses towards others "mistakes".

Something to also consider here though, is how the impulsivity of adhd can make violent reactions worse, anger and/or frustration harder to control, and harder to hold back from expressing outwardly or physically, especially if left unchecked or untreated for a long time.

But Misfire stops and takes a second to collect himself before becoming somber as he considers Grimlock's perspective.

This instinctually violent reaction is not something he wants, or likes, and judging by how much time has passed by that point in the comic, this has been something he's been working on and is still working on.

But what about while he was still an active solider? When holding back was seen as a weak or foolish response? How did the impulsivity play into it? After being treated like that himself, struck or beaten for mistakes, at what point did it snap and he found himself standing over another solider as they stared up at him with that same fear and shock and hurt he had felt. How did that affect him to know he was capable of doing that without thought?

Because, ya know, he's done bad things too...

[spaghetticat3899]

ADHD stop making me easy to upset challenge: impossible

[carrotsofthepirabbean]

what if... Psych .. but Star Trek?

[smallblueandloud]

i'm trying to recognize when anxiety is making it hard to work on something, so. okay, i'm anxious about my ML homework and it's making me procrastinate. i have to code some things and then answer some questions about them. problems:

i'm not fully done with the coding section

it's very unclear if the code i've written is even right

i don't know if the parts of the writeup that i've done have enough detail

i'm scared i won't know how to do the last section of the writeup

if i want to finish this homework tonight (or at least make significant progress), i have to deal with all of these concerns eventually. so. how to resolve all of these?

the last part of the coding section is apparently straightforward and it doesn't really depend on the rest of the code. so. i can work on that now.

there's not really a way for me to check the code i've written. i'm getting results that semi-make sense and i think that's about as good as we can do. also, even if i have to edit my code later, it won't break everything (and it won't be super hard to edit my writeup as long as i have it Started)

...it won't have enough detail until i write it. also it'll be easier to add detail once i have Anything written down. (also, this is the first bit of homework, so once again there's kinda... not a way for me to check this. i just have to guess.)

hitting that wall will feel better if i have the rest of the homework done already

i don't know if thinking through this will help. but in the past i've just kinda... avoided things because i was afraid of making a choice or having to face something. and it turns out that it is almost ALWAYS better to make the choice or face the scary thing earlier rather than later. so here i am, trying to face it now.